NothingToDread.com

I'd love to go to one of those places, but my ass is scary...

Oh my god! You're a naked monster...

Those are just three examples of the comments made by people to whom I mentioned this weeks visit to The Terra Cotta Inn. While not all negative, all three were reminders of the prevailing perception about social nudism and why open dialog is needed to erase those misconceptions. Well, except for the part about being a naked monster. I am a bit of a beast.

I really needed this trip. We haven't been getting out much, and I was beginning to forget why I enjoy social nudism. It was great to see people of all ages, shapes, and sizes, relax and feel comfortable in their own skins despite the ravages of time and gravity. I was surrounded by smiling and happy people who were unconcerned about that unattainable image of perfection that drives men and women to a state of self-loathing and insecurity. Scary ass my hairy ass... All you have to do is it look at the brightly lit faces around the pool to know that those days of worry ended within hours of even the heaviest nudist's first visit to a nudist venue.

I've visited other "clothing optional" clubs and resorts, but The Terra Cotta Inn was the first place where I saw several people exercise the option. A couple of the ladies were merely topless while a third chose a two-piece bikini. My wife suspects that Bikini Girl just wanted tan lines. It doesn't matter. I like the fact that Terra Cotta Inn provides a safe atmosphere for women who may need a little more time to ease into a comfortable state of social nudity. I especially prefer it to the other extreme that results in trips to "nudist" facilities being planned around menstrual cycles, or the silliness of scarlet wristbands announcing Aunt Flow's arrival. I did think that the dude who showed up for breakfast in his boxer shorts was a bit questionable, but what the hell; to each his own.

Another first occurred this week at Terra Cotta Inn. Up until now, I've been reluctant to show my face here at nothingtodread.com. This week, I allowed myself to be photographed from my hair to my toenails with everything between the two fully exposed.

Believe it or not, I'm even impressed by Tom and Mary Clare's housekeeping staff. Housekeeping typically inhabits a plain of existence that while visible, is all but inaccessible to the guests. That's especially true when it comes to clothing optional and nudist facilities that I've visited in the past. You almost wonder if they actually see the naked folk lounging by the pool. That's not the case at Terra Cotta. I personally witnessed no less than three interactions between housekeepers and guests. In each instance, the housekeeper went out of her way to ensure that the guest was well taken care of.

While not billed as a B&B, Terra Cotta Inn serves a nice continental breakfast that includes fresh fruit, pastries, hard-boiled eggs, yogurt, etc. In addition to breakfast, afternoon snacks and wine are served. I personally watched Tom wade into the pool and refill a guest's glass. Ok, wading into a pool when it's 114 degrees outside isn't really a sacrifice, but it is in keeping with the finest traditions of service with a smile.

Terra Cotta Inn is a true clothing optional resort. The number of women exercising that option surprised me. More than I've ever seen in the past. I firmly believe that clothing optional rather than strict nudist is the best way to provide a safe and comfortable gateway to social nudism. Some women were simply topless, most were nude, and one woman lounged poolside in a bikini.

Guest demographics were about what one would expect. No children, couples only, and all ages. I don't believe that many, if any, of the other guests were younger than my tender age of 43. Many appeared older. All appeared to be having a wonderful time. By Thursday, several guests who appeared to be regulars started to arrive. The pool began to take on a lively atmosphere, and the laughter was rather contagious.

Overall, the wife and I have had a wonderful time. I would recommend Terra Cotta Inn to anybody (Veteran or newbie) seeking a clothing optional or nude vacation.

Good morning world!

I haven't been writing lately, but let's face it nobody wanted to read another "I lost x pounds while riding my bike y miles" post any more than I wanted to write another weight loss update. In case you're interested, I'm successfully maintaining my weight at 180 (+/- three or four) pounds. I'm averaging 160 miles a week on the bike, and my body fat is now somewhere around 16%.

Social nudism...

I have the ridiculous cycling related tan lines to prove that we haven't been getting out much lately. That's probably why I've had less and less to write about the subject for several months. Hopefully, that's all about to change. I'm going to start making a stronger effort to get away and enjoy this beautifully consistent Southern California weather that I've been allowing to go to waste. As a matter of fact, I've already taken the first step towards my nudist renaissance. I'm posting this article courtesy of the free WiFi connection at a popular clothing optional/nudist resort in beautiful Palm Springs, California.

I've loved Palm Springs since I was a teenager (Even before my first visit to a clothing optional B&B previously housed a few miles from where I'm writing this article). Palm Springs has a charm that can't be duplicated elsewhere. Never mind the summer heat. This is a city that I would happily visit any time of year. It is also the city that introduced me to social nudism. If I was offered "Palm Springs" during a word association test, I'd probably have to struggle with the simultaneous flash of nudity and movie stars in my brain. I suppose that I could respond with naked movie stars.

I have a bad habit of planning our getaways on very short notice. The whim strikes me... I call to check availability... Terra Cotta Inn turns out to be booked... We end up sleeping on a lumpy matress at a larger, and typically under booked, property down the street.

Wife: Did you call Tom's?
Me: Yup, no room at the Inn.

This time we got lucky. I called, spoke to Mary Clare, and booked a room. We haven't been here long enough to turn this into a review, we haven't even had the opportunity to meet the owners Tom and Mary Clare, but so far I like the place. I will say this - the bed in our room is wonderfully comfortable. We both slept like babies last night!

Old and fat, young and slim, smooth and... Well, not. I looked around the pool at almost every size shape and flavor of nudist one could imagine. I tried to look at it all with a fresh eye. What would it be like to step into the world of the nude for the very first time? I looked around the pool and I tried to imagine something other than a woman reading a book, talking to her husband, or taking a lap in the pool. I tried to imagine something exciting, provocative, or erotic about the whole scene. Pages continued to turn, couples talked, and the swimmer climbed onto a float.

I briefly mistook a Montana housewife for the female costar of a USA Network original series. I ran through a mental checklist. Mrs. Montana appeared to be the same height as the Mrs. USA. They shared the same smile, and they appeared to be equally tan. They both had dark hair; Mrs. Montana had light colored streaks (Highlights?) in hers. Despite the similarities, I realized that unless Mrs. USA had followed up filming with breast augmentation, Mrs. Montana was not the female costar of a USA Network original series.

I've experienced several off-screen celebrity sightings (None of them nude), but they're rare enough that I find them somewhat noteworthy when they occur. My faux nudist celebrity sighting got me thinking about the comparison between some people's reaction to the idea of nudism and the way we often react to famous people. I might call my wife after meeting a TV star at an airport, but would I call her if I worked in television? How big would that star have to be? I just can't imagine a celebrity sighting meaning much if celebrities are a regular part of your life. The same can be said about nudity.

I looked around that pool. I studied Mrs. Montana and some of the other more attractive women around the pool at Desert Shadows Inn last week. I tried to imagine the provocative angle that some might expect, and it just wasn't there. I was nude, they were nude, we were all comfortable. It was all so... routine.

The wife and I got home from Palm Springs today. We checked into Desert Shadows Inn on Wednesday and checked out this morning. We wanted to give Tom Mulhall's Terra Cotta Inn a try, but this trip was planned on a whim. We hadn't even considered a trip to Palm Springs until Tuesday. I gave Terra Cotta a shot, but sadly there was no room at the inn.

We had a very nice time. We met some nice people and the weather was pretty good. It was great on Wednesday, but windy Thursday and Friday. Wind is something you sometimes have to live with in Palm Springs, but it beats the hell of rain sleet and snow. For most of our stay the other guests at DSI made a couple of 42 year olds like the wife and I look like kids, but a few younger folk started showing up around Friday. I didn't see any twenty-somethings but several thirty-somethings began to trickle in.

We were surprised to discover that "they had recently closed the resort's restaurant, but nobody seemed to know the reason why. I heard a few rumors, but nothing concrete enough to print. The new pool furniture was nice and I liked the new plush pool towels.

I received a wonderful 90-minute massage at the spa on Thursday from a therapist named Sheila. This was the second time I had a massage done by Sheila and I stand by my assertion that she is the best massage therapist I've ever been treated by. A massage from Sheila is definitely worth a trip to the desert.

On Friday I somehow managed to drop my 30GB iPod in the swimming pool. I don't know why, but I started laughing as I watched it shimmer at the bottom of the pool. I suppose the sight of a nude man crying at the edge of the pool would have disturbed the other guests. I need a new iPod.

Normally when I visit Palm Springs, I only complain about having to get dressed when I go home. That isn't the case this week. We stayed in one of the "Courtyard Rooms". Room 5 to be specific.

Rediscover the Golden Age of Palm Springs... classic glamour. Relax in the exclusive Courtyard Suites where every room is unique in its shape and design reflecting the classical style and elegance of 1940's Palm Springs. Designer decorated rooms with brass beds evoke the era or a private movie star hide-away complete with a secluded garden patio setting.

You can be the star of your next vacation.

Our Courtyard features ten exclusive rooms and suites nestled in an intimate Spanish-style courtyard and feature king or queen brass bed, A/C, color cable TV, refrigerators, oversized pool towels, coffee makers with a basket of exotic brews, in-shower dispensers of premier shampoos and body soaps, and feather pillows.

DesertShadows.com

This wasn't our first stay in one of the "Courtyard Suites" at Desert Shadows Inn. If it had been, it would be our last. We like to have a room with a full kitchen. It's less expensive than eating at resort's restaurant (When it's open) and more convenient than having to get dressed for a trip to town. On our last stay we were in Room 10. The room was nice enough that I wanted to send pictures to friends. We had not complaints. This time we had Room 5. I'll let them slide on the "exotic brews" mentioned above. The coffee is the typical hotel room 4-cup pod variety in a vac sealed package. I didn't notice anything exotic about it. I'll let them slide on the "premier shampoos and body soap line", but I have a serious bone to pick with them about the bed and feather pillows.

As a young United States Marine, I once spent $13 a night to stay at the San Diego Armed Forces YMCA. That wasn't even the worse place I slept, but we don't need to go there again. I would gladly trade the $207 a night mattress from Desert Shadows Inn Room five for that $13 a night YMCA mattress. I understand that Errol Flynn was once associated with the property. I don't need to sleep on his mattress to appreciate that fact. The "box spring" was so flimsy that I literally compressed in the grip of my right hand. The pillows were so old that a couple of t-shirts tossed into a pillowcase would have offered more support. Any benefit I received from my $140 massage was destroyed by one night on that mattress. I frequently awoke in pain. Sleeping too close to the edge of the bed meant risking slipping off the collapsing bed onto the floor where my wife chose to sleep last night.

I can cut the new owners some slack when it comes to the threadbare carpet, awful plumbing, and even the broken heater pump on the quiet pool. I can't forgive charging over $200 a night for a flophouse bed. The mattress and pillows in room five should have been replaced long before the perfectly serviceable pool furniture. My wife called for another room, but she was told none was available. We should have left, but we really wanted to be in Palm Springs. Normally I try talking her into spending an extra day; last night I tried talking her into checking out early.

Despite all that, I can't wait to return to Palm Springs. I'm not saying that I won't return to DSI. I just won't accept Room 5 unless they prove that they've replaced the mattress and pillows.

Thanks to Tom Mulhall of the Terra Cotta Inn for pointing me in the direction of an article written by Kari Cobham at Daytona Beach News-JornalOnline.com about her first time visit to Sunny Sands clothing optional "resort" in Pierson, Florida. From the tone of Tom's breakdown I expected Kari's article to detail a miserably disastrous experience, but fortunately that was mostly due to Tom's signature marketing. However, Kari's article does point out some pitfalls that await newcomers unprepared for their first visit to many clothing optional "resorts".

As Kari discovered, many clothing optional facilities treat clothing as less of an option around the pool or hot tub. There are several explanations for these rules, and I won't bother going into them except to say that some of them have to do with helping newcomers take that first step into the deep end, while others help weed out the voyeurs. I myself am not very fond of these rules. Pressure makes diamonds and when you apply pressure to some people who may be on the edge of participation, you just harden their resolve not to participate. This may also become a problem when nature makes an inconvenient appearance and a girl feels a need to conceal certain hygiene items. In the case of Sunny Sands, Kari was simply advised that she could not enter the pool. She didn't seem to mind.

While not necessarily fly by night, many nude/clothing optional "resorts" and clubs lean towards the rustic. Facilities may be limited, and unless you're visiting a professionally run operation like Terra Cotta, be prepared to bring everything that you will need on your visit. They'll probably have a place for you to sit, but don't assume they'll have much else. There should be water in the pool, but there may not be any available to drink. Many of these so called "resorts" mostly rely on member participation to keep things going. The owners have day jobs, and everybody pulls together to do the best they can. They're more of a place than a business.

As Kari discovered, not all facilities are open during the week. Even larger properties have a tendency to shut down underutilized facilities during the week. One place I like to visit closes the restaurant on Wednesday, and the spa is closed both Tuesday and Wednesday. Avoid being unprepared by calling ahead. Even "stupid" questions can save you a lot of time and trouble.

Kari was unprepared and a little nervous on her first visit, and the article seems a bit over edited. It's nice to note that Kari was impressed by the comfort level displayed by other guests, and despite her acknowledgment of several inconveniences, Kari vowed to be better prepared on her next visit. I'm not sure if I agree with Tom's assumption that she was uncomfortable because nobody spent time with her. I got the impression that the other guests gave her some space but were more than approachable if she wanted company. On my first visit to a clothing option resort, I needed some time alone to let it all soak in, my wife described a similar reaction to her first visit.

Every person has different needs. For most, I probably would recommend a place like Terra Cotta for a first, second, and even third visit, but clubs and rustic resorts have an important place in the world of social nudity. Without affordable options, most nudists would be limited to one or two opportunities or less a year. Quality resorts like Terra Cotta can't accommodate all nudists, and all nudists can't afford to limit their nude recreation to Palm Springs vacations.

I haven't had a lot of time for sex and nudity lately. I won't bore you with the details, but I'm in school studying a state mandated curriculum with the goal of opening a business related to the automotive industry. I don't have much of a background in that industry, and some of the stuff I'm studying is difficult for those who do. Needless to say I've been spending a lot of time cracking the books. It's hard to write about sex when you hardly have the time to get naked. I suppose I could study in the nude, but that might get me thrown out of the library.

On a positive note, my friends appear to be getting a little more comfortable with the idea of slipping out of something a little less comfortable. I was hanging out in my friend Hank's shop last week. Hank was with a customer, and I was doing some homework in his office. Hank is in the same business that I plan on getting into, so he has been helping me with my studies. I heard Hank say something about Palm Springs, and next thing I knew he was calling me out of the office to tell his customer about the desert resort town's "nudist hotels". Before I knew it, I was conducting a mini seminar about social nudism for five of Hank's customers. At first I was a little surprised that Hank put me on the spot by sharing such a personal detail with strangers. That quickly passed when I realized how comfortable my friend has become with that part of my lifestyle. It never occurred to him that I might be opposed to sharing my experiences with others. Note: Hank is not a nudist. As a general rule, you don't have to worry about being "outed" by other nudists.

One of my friends lives about six hours away. We don't see each other very often, but thanks to the marvels of modern technology, we get together for a regular game of XBOX Live Halo. I took a much needed study break yesterday and spent the hour shooting rockets at my old friend's avatar. He seemed a little giddy. I asked him what was up, and he confessed that he had just stepped out of the shower when he was struck by the urge to play. He hadn't bothered getting dressed, and playing in the nude was a lot more fun. Baby steps people. I don't know if my friend will ever be comfortable with public nudity, but I would say that nude XBOX Live qualifies as a virtual social nudism.

In a btw tacked on to an email message, I asked a friend if he has visited nothingtodread.com lately. He replied:

I don't really follow that site too much because nudism isn't my bag. There's nothing wrong with it I just don't see my fat ass getting naked in front of anyone unless I am married to them or they have M.D. after their name. I am not embarrassed about my body. On one hand I can care less if any one sees me naked; just ask my wife when I am strutting around the house buck-naked. I just don't see the point of going to public places naked. What, does it make it more fun or something? Not to me. If something's fun it's fun regardless. I just choose to be clothed in public places. It's my choice and if some one chooses to get naked then I say more power to you.

It's ok that my friend isn't interested in social nudism, but I'd like to answer his question. Why choose social over private nudity? I personally don't think it matters. Let's say that I book a room at a fine Palm Springs resort that is booked to full capacity. Other than the competition for prime sunbathing or shade locations, the number of guests at the resort will have very little impact on the quality of my experience. I'll be nude, they'll be nude, but it won't matter. Again my experience would not be affected if I arrived to find the place a ghost town.

So why be nude? The answer is so simple that it is hard to explain. It doesn't matter how many people we encounter while nude, so it's ok to be nude in the presence of others. I like to be nude, my wife likes to be nude, even my friend likes to be nude around the house. Just ask his wife. When it comes to being seen, nude or clothed, it's all the same to me. Since I'd rather be nude, and I like swimming pools, I prefer clubs and resorts that allow me to be nude around the pool. Since I'm already nude at the pool, why get dressed for dinner if it isn't necessary? I'm not really interested in nude bowling or working out nude at the gym, but I'd probably be more willing to take up golf if I didn't have to get dressed to play.

If I had a fully stocked home gym, I'd cancel my gym membership. I don't have a swimming pool and backyard privacy, so I visit nude clubs, resorts, and campgrounds. When it comes to resorts, why would I pay good money to be less comfortable at a clothed resort? Public or private, being nude is almost always more fun, comfortable, and relaxing. Why be clothed unnecessarily? What, does it make it more fun or something? If something is fun, it is fun regardless. Weather permitting, I just choose to be nude whenever possible. If someone prefers to go swimming with their clothes on, I say more power to them.

On Sunday, Nudiarist tossed his two cents into the debate surrounding Tom's use of certain photographs at his Terra Cotta Inn blog.

Tom likes to use these "candid" nude or topfree beach photos from Europe on his posts. Like Dreadfree, I don't have anything against a nice photo of a nude pretty girl, I think the female body is perhaps the most beautiful object on the planet, but the people who shoot these beach photos are not interested in nudism, they are voyeurs, "Peeping-Toms", and the use of these surreptitious photos should be something to be discouraged in the nudist community...

...Tom and his wife actually seem to me to be more representative of real nudists - in their photos they are always smiling and proud of their lifestyle. Those are the photos I like, when it's obvious that the people in the photos know that the shutter is being clicked.

Diary of a Nudist

That in a nutshell expresses the idea that I've been trying convey in paragraph after paragraph since this discussion began.

Also on Sunday Tom responded to one of my comment at his blog, saying in part:

I agree, nudists are mainly couples. You don't have to be married to be a couple. For instance one of the couples that checked in today is a Marine stationed in San Diego and they are early 20's. (not married) We have 6 people here today in their 20's.

Yes, 20 somethings are single, but many are in relationships. They do vacation together as couples which is why we get all ages here.

Tom Mulhall
Terra Cotta Inn Blog

Those of you who have read my articles about early experiences with social nudism know that I am still more than a little sore about being rejected by several Southern California nudist clubs. Some of what I've had to say about Tom and his policies regarding singles (Especially males) has been clouded by that lingering sense of rejection. Tom is correct in saying that young people do form couples, and they do travel together, and those travels can lead to nude and clothing optional vacations. Note to Tom: I'm not trying to start an argument about your policy regarding single males. I do understand your position. I'm merely confessing a bias that may color some of my arguments.

Overall, my last exchange with Tom resulted in an understanding of sorts. Tom does attract a younger crowd than other resorts. After looking at his rates, I can only imagine that has more to do with his prices than it does with the photos displayed on his website. The rates displayed at http://sunnyfun.com/Rates/rates.html are a couple of years old, but I can attest to the fact that they are better than what I paid at a nearby property during the same time frame. Also, we've been holding Tom to an unfair standard. http://terracottainn.blogspot.com is a commercial site. It is a commercial for his property, and his goal is to attract eyeballs. That doesn't make Tom a bad person; it makes him a businessman.

I too hate the idiots up on the beaches. But that is an American phenomenon. At Cap D'Agde in France, Bikini beach in San Tropez, Spain, etc. lots of people have cameras at the beach. It is no different that going to an American textile beach seeing the young people with cameras.

People in Europe take nude and topless pictures at the beach all the time because they have no [repercussions] if your picture appears nude on the internet unless you are someone famous.

Tom Mulhall
Terra Cotta Inn Blog

Tom and I will continue to disagree on this point. True, my experience with European beaches is limited to a portion of the continent that, despite its international reputation, is less tolerant than the areas described by Tom. We may take cameras to the beach, but most of our photography is limited to members of our own party. Showing too great an interest in someone's wife, sister, girlfriend, or mere acquaintance, could result in violence. That may explain why most of the females pictured are a) unaware of the camera's presence, and b) not accompanied by a male. Courtesy is an international phenomenon. It's generally considered rude to make someone the sole focus a photograph without first obtaining permission.

Tom is in the unenviable position of needing to keep his content fresh so that he can attract new eyeballs to the phone number displayed in his article. I can't speak for all nudists, but I am not a communist. I will not begrudge a man the right to make an honest dollar. The only thing better than a photo is a naked photo. What's better than a naked photo? A photo of naked young women! Tom's problem is that he needs photos that he can legally use to promote his site. I'm not sure about the provenance of the pictures Tom has been using, or where they fall into the fair use scheme of things, but my guess is that he's avoiding Creative Commons licensed work that prohibits commercial use. Using Tom's argument that the young ladies pictured do not enjoy a right to privacy under the circumstances depicted, I can see why Tom has chosen to feature them on his site. I may not like the pictures, but I can't argue with his logic.

To make a long story short, it's time for me to move on to another subject and stop holding Tom's blog to the same standard that I would hold a non-commercial site. I can only hope that in the future we'll see Tom use more photos of young women who are smiling for the camera.

I wouldn't say that my article about Tom Mulhall's use of certain photographs has launched a raging debate in the nudist blogsphere, but the response to that article has generated significantly more type than the original article contained. Tom responded and I responded to Tom. EJP added his point of view to the discussion at the Gymnophiliac blog, and Tom had a thing or two to say there. The subject came up again today at Tom's blog, and I responded. The more I disagree with Tom, the more I like him for sticking to his guns. A similar thing happened a few years ago, but we won't get into that. Tom is a man who sticks to his principles.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that I don't objected to Tom's promotion of his business with images of fit young women. Also, I probably would not have given the demographics involved a second thought if not for the fact that I object to the specific nature of the photos chosen. I wouldn't have blinked if Tom chose to use photos like those used by Nudiarist at his blog. The photos used by Nudiarist range from vintage kitsch to the modern. The subjects also run the gambit from young and attractive to older and "vintage". The one thing that they all have in common is that they tend to be smiling and appear happy to be photographed. It's true that one does not have an expectation of privacy in public, but it would be nice if we nudists extended simple courtesy to our fellow travelers by not supporting surreptitious and exploitative photography in any environment where nude recreation takes place. Sneak shots on a beach only serve to remind us that we should stay off the beach.

If you're interested in following the continued exchange between Tom and me, you can either continue reading following the break, or you can read Tom's article here. I wouldn't blame him if he didn't approve my comments. This debate really has no place in a promotional forum. That's not a shot at Tom, its just reality.

Update: Tom approved my comment at his blog.

I had dinner with Brutus and Roxanne a few nights ago. Prior to dinner, Brutus pulled me aside and gave me a list of discussion topics that he wanted me to avoid during dinner. They included social nudity, intimate grooming, and all subjects of a sexual nature. Grinning, I pledged not to steer the evening's conversation towards any topics that might conjure images of bare genitalia. Apparently Roxanne did not receive the memo. As soon as our waiter left with our drink orders, Roxanne asked if I'd visited a local AANR club since we last spoke. I said that I hadn't, and we discussed the possibility of Brutus and Roxanne joining me when I did. Roxanne told Brutus that they could keep their clothes on, and I explained that that particular club required nudity at all times. I suggested that they ease into things at Terra Cotta Inn instead.

Becoming comfortable with social nudity is a process. Some people take to it like fish to water, while others approach it like cold water. They dip a toe and retreat. Then it's a foot; maybe they dangle their feet at the waters edge for a while. Others dive right in and let the shock hit them all at once. The important thing is that you approach social nudism at your own pace. Christina Ricci may never get further than being comfortable in the privacy of her own home. Brutus and Roxanne may become the most comfortable couple at a club near you. Only time will tell.

Earlier, I indirectly referenced a couple of nudist blogs including that hosted by the owner of a popular clothing optional resort. Chances are you already know that I was referring to the promotional blog maintained by Terra Cotta Inn owner Tom Mulhall. I don't know Tom, and I've never stayed at his inn. I've tried booking rooms at the Terra Cotta a couple of times, but they were booked solid. I'm sure he's a great guy, and there's no doubt in my mind that he runs a class operation. His blog just rubs me the wrong way.

Usually it's the promotional slant that gets under my skin, but lately he's been spicing up the site with nude beach photos featuring very attractive young women (NSFW Examples: Here, here, here, here and here). I don't normally object to beautiful young women, but I do object to misinformation and the implication that these particular young women are representative of the average participant in the nudist lifestyle. While most of us work hard to convince women who are considering nude recreation that their bodies are the norm despite any perceived imperfections, the photos that Tom has chosen to feature lately perpetuate the myth that only the young and beautiful need participate.

Look, I don't object to the nude photos. I simply believe that the photos of Tom and his wife Mary Clare promote social nudism more effectively than pictures of naked college girls and topless carnival babes.

The next time you visit a public beach, mainstream resort, or any public swimming pool, take a look at the people around you. People are living longer, food is plentiful, and fat doesn't keep the old away from the pool. When was the last time you went shopping at Wal-Mart? Did the oversized sweatshirts and spandex really help? Places that attract nudists aren't any different than the places that attract the swimwear buying hoi polloi. Some people are fat, some are old and others are young and fit. Imagine that public pool without the kids and you'll have a pretty accurate picture of the people at my favorite Palm Springs resort.

My sister once owned a house that had a nearly perfect back yard. The windowless outer wall of a neighbor's garage flanked one side of the yard, and the remaining perimeter consisted of a seven-foot tall stucco wall. In the center of it all was a beautiful kidney shaped swimming pool. It looked to me like the previous owners had a taste for backyard nudity. Then I noticed the newly completed second story addition to the house next door. I guess I was right about the backyard nudity because I eventually learned that the previous owners put the house on the market right after construction on that second story began. That's the problem with suburban life. You can spend a few thousand dollars for some privacy, but don't be surprised if your neighbor spends a few thousand more to take it away. Since backyard nudity is rarely an option in the suburbs, outdoor nudity typically means social nudism.

Why be nude in the first place? Go shower with your pants on. Not only is nudity more comfortable, but there are also times when it makes more sense to be nude. I think it makes about as much sense to swim wearing shorts as it does to take a shower in my 501s. What's so special about those four our five square inches of flesh that we insist on covering? Even die-hard nudists get dressed when it's cold. When it comes to modesty, a thong makes about as much sense as a burka from the other extreme. Why hide this, but not that? Eroticism? Sexuality? Arousal? Take a look at amateur pornography on the Internet. Those people are actually trying to present an erotic image. Most of them fail despite or maybe because of the fact that they are nude. It takes a lot of work to make most naked people sexually attractive. Take a look at so called primitive cultures that paint their bodies and adorn themselves with feathers, flowers, and other natural objects. They learned long ago that naked is functional, but it takes some flare to get you laid. What's that? You see a nude woman and you get an instant erection? What, you've never been aroused by a fully clothed woman? How much time would you have to spend with your naked mother, sister, or grandmother before she turned you on? It's not the nudity that turns you on it’s the mental image of sex associated with that nudity that does the trick.

Fortunately we have places to go, and we no longer have to choose between the finer things in life and going nude. Nudist resorts boast first class restaurants, and full service spas. I can remember when the worse thing about getting hungry was that I had to get dressed and drive into town for a meal. Now I can enjoy an entire weekend without ever having to put on a stitch of clothing. For me, a nude vacation means hanging out by the pool, taking a swim, getting a massage and soaking in the hot tub between meals. I could also pay a visit to the fitness center or play tennis, but why ruin a perfectly good vacation with gratuitous exercise?

I recently took a shot at the owner of a popular clothing optional resort. I suggested that he should spend more time worrying about overflow guests from area swingers resort staying at his hotel instead of worrying about the occasional single male who might want to spend a quiet weekend reading poolside at his popular clothing optional resort. I just want to clarify what I meant by that comment.

A couple of years ago I ran across an online article describing erotic travel destinations. The article linked to a couple of Swingers resorts in the Palm Springs area. Aside from the occasional masturbation fantasy and a few moral objections, I'm far too possessive and insecure for that kind of thing. That said, in the interest of research, and the continuation of the aforementioned masturbation fantasies, I paid a visit to each resort's website. That's when I learned that those resorts were directing their overflow to places like the popular clothing optional resort and other non-sexual clothing optional resorts in the Palm Springs area. Normally, I would provide links to those sites, but today one link points to an empty directory, and the other leads to a clothing optional spa resort that is a little evasive about its relationship to the swinging lifestyle.

I only brought up the swingers in an effort to point out that the treatment of single males by places like this popular clothing optional resort is unfair in comparison to the tolerance afforded to the referenced swingers. Swingers are given the benefit of the doubt.  They are only denied entry following a violation of the resort's standards of conduct. I say that single males should be afforded the same benefit of the doubt.

I don't have a problem with swingers. I've been bothered more by drunks and religious proselytizers than I have by people asking me to have sex with their wives at clothing optional resorts.

Twenty years ago, I had the good fortune to stumble upon a small B&B called Le Petit Chateau. Despite the fact that I was a dreaded single male, the owners of the inn, Don and Mary Robidoux, always made me feel like a member of their extended family. Since Mary always introduced me to the other guests, and both owners always gave me a warm welcome, the other poolside guests never seemed overly concerned by my presence. Besides, anybody who had ever stayed at Le Petit Chateau knew that Don didn't tolerate a whole lot of nonsense from anybody regardless of marital status. Staying at the Chateau was so much like visiting friends that I never considered staying anywhere else in Palm Springs until after Don and Mary sold the property and it began catering to gay men. That change occurred while I was living in another state where I had the good fortune to be welcomed at an AANR affiliated club that also didn't seem to mind my single status. I eventually introduced my wife to social nudism at that club.

I had the good fortune to encounter open-minded people like Don and Mary Robidoux whose screening policy had more to do with a guest's character than marital status. Since then, I've been able to share the joys of social nudism with friends who went on to experience nude recreation themselves. I never heard Don or Mary run down any of the other clothing optional inns in town. Instead of running down the competition, Don and Mary ran one of the most welcoming places (Clothing optional or otherwise) that I've ever visited.

Since Le Petit Chateau has traveled to a distant point over the rainbow, Desert Shadows Inn Resort & Villas has become my Palm Springs destination of choice. Staying at Desert Shadows is for the most part an impersonal experience. I couldn't pick one of the owners out of a line up. If I've had a conversation with one of them, I didn't know it. Desert Shadows is a beautiful property, and an excellent example of how a nude resort can successfully compete with mainstream resorts. Despite that fact, I don't feel any greater sense of loyalty to Desert Shadows than I would to the Hilton or Marriott. Therefore, I've been considering checking some of the other clothing optional and nude resorts in the Palm Springs area.

The Terra Cotta Inn has long been at the top of list of properties I've been thinking about checking out on my next nude vacation. Tom Mulhall from the Terra Cotta maintains a blog boasting "A popular clothing optional/nudist resort" as an obvious promotional tool for the resort. Tom's writing tends to take a "we're better than you" tone when referring to his competition, but that's understandable. The man is running a business. However, he makes a brief statement in a recent post that just runs right through the single male I was twenty years ago.

They told me they were surprised at how many single men are allowed at the big nudist resorts and they were surprised children were at them too. They thought they would be fun, friendly places like us.

Terra Cotta Inn @ BlogSpot

Ok, I'll be honest, I don't really like being around a lot of children either. Given a choice between a clothing optional property full of kids, and one with no kids, I'll choose the kid free zone. I understand that some couples feel the same way about single males. Regardless, the statement about single males annoys me. As I've said before, this kind of sentiment would make sense to me if we were discussing a swinger's club or Lifestyles resort.

Why do single males frighten some nudists? I can think of only one occasion when somebody said something inappropriate to my wife at a nudist facility, and that was an old married man in his fifties whose wife happened to be at another location on the property. I have news for you hotshot; some of those couples you so proudly welcome to your resort are staying with you and playing at nearby Lifestyles facilities when the latter are overbooked. Try weeding out the swingers before worrying about the lonely schmuck with a book. I understand that the swingers will be asked to leave if they behave inappropriately; however, I don't understand why the single male isn't afforded the same consideration.